"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
