I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
