Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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