we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
