I'm pants shitting drunk right now
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
