i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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