Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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