you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
