dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
