Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
