They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
