Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
