Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
