imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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