I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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