I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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