Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
