I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
