If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
