i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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