remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
