In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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