woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
