HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
