that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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