Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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