WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
