i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
