Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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