I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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