Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
