i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
