Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize