Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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