i may or may not be watching the land before time
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
