You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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