My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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