Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
