omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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