i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
