I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
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