3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
not ubering you a puppy
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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