Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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