I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
