If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
