My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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