Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
