Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
