Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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