we're blogging at a bar
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Randomize
